A Time For Everything: A Retrospect of 2009

Psalm 131 - A Look at Priorities

It always seems that my blog entries are few and far between. I've given up apologizing for it, 'cause well, life happens. PLUS, my life changes enough in between these posts that it makes it more interesting to see how things have changed with me. I'm never quite sure who reads this blogs, or even if anyone reads them apart from me. Every time I write, I have the prayer that my words will be "accidently" stumbled upon and impact someone for good with only God's knowledge of it. Some crave to know whom they've impacted and although it would be encouraging to know who's life I have unknowingly touched, the fact I don't know keeps me humble. After all, this life, all of our lives are in the hands of God. Saying this, I would like to share a reflection I recently did. 

Psalm 131


A song of ascents. Of David.

 1 My heart is not proud, O LORD, 

       my eyes are not haughty; 

       I do not concern myself with great matters 

       or things too wonderful for me.

 2 But I have stilled and quieted my soul; 
      

     like a weaned child with its mother, 
      

      like a weaned child is my soul within me.

 3 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD 
 

both now and forevermore.

1. Reading the Moment: Using a segment of a passage from Psalms or Proverbs comment on what is at the surface of that segment. In other words, why does the Psalmist or the Scribe respond to God in this way?

This psalm expresses David’s commitment to God and urges the Israelites, whom he is leading, to follow his example - not for his own glory, but to be a testimony for God. For a long time, the Israelites have lived in disobedience, wickedness, lusted after other gods while trying to incorporate idolatrous practices into their covenant relationship with the LORD. David is calling the people to desire the One who desires them so much, and longs for His children to return to excellence in relationship with Him. David responds to God so willingly, with the comfort of peace, because he has experienced the enrichment of God’s faithfulness in his life. For David,God is worthy of consideration for his respect because He is the One that is the distinct feature of David’s life.

2. Reflecting on the Moment: For that same passage, engage your mind to see what is beneath the surface. What is the underlying message that impresses on you?

If I were to interpret this psalm based on simple hermeneutic (method of interpretation) found in the surrounding passages, I would put it in such modern language as this:

My heart is not deeply pleased or consumed by my own accomplishments, things, or posessions, O LORD [I am that I am],
My eyes do not hunger after things that make me and show myself arrogant or full of contempt for God [neglecting the value of humbleness], considering Him unworthy of my respect.

I do not busy myself with overwhelming issues that God does not need my help with or things that are beyond my capacity to understand or accomplish apart from Him.
I do not consider it important to lust after things that are attractive but empty in value.

I let God have control over my life.

My very identity, the essence of who I am, is undisturbed by noisy interruptions that avert my attention and is rooted in the spot that God has placed me.
It is not anxious because I have peace with God in my period of time.
Having qualities as a child who is no longer accustomed to being dependent on what the world had to offer, but has now
become accustomed to find nourishment in God.
In a manner of a child’s trusting qualities, my very identity has found comfort and soldarity in the arms of the LORD, who is my foundational source.

O Natalie, do not place your expectation, desires, goals, ambitions in the hands of people, in the images of idols that can deceive you and fail you.
Place your expectancy in God in the active present and until the end of time, For only He can grant what you are in need of.

This psalm has been on my mind and heart for over a month now. I have had it posted on my white board during this time. I first picked it up while traveling on my way back to Canada from Seoul, S.Korea. Over the summer, while doing mentoring I & II, it was a refining process that gave me hope to return to Canada and begin a new life. My present mentor and I have been mulling over these issues every week since my return. I consider this psalm a reminder of where my new priorities, my motivations and my confidences are found or at least where they should be found.

3. Responding to the Moment: Give what you have from points one and two time to sit in your heart. Allow it to grow there, letting it take you upward to God and outward to other people. What does this do to you and your outlook on life?

Simply put, this fortifies my firm belief that I cannot look to things, to my own accomplishments and possessions to give me a firm foundation in which to plant my roots. I have a miniscule want for meaningless things that clutter my life and get in the way of what is truly important to me - God. The very core of who I am and what my motivations are for living life the way I do has to find confidence, rest and peace in God, in his faithfulness. It is comforting to be able to trust in a sovereign God who will not fail me like people will, no matter how much I love them. My outlook on life holds much expectancy for the great things that God will accomplish through me. I am relieved that he does not need my help, that he is powerful enough to execute His plans alone. I have strived for so long to try and be his personal assistant when what I need to be is his divine agent, empowered with the assurance of His message of Truth. God is my compass, my nourishment, my comfort, my foundational source. He is more than worthy of my adoration, my devotion and respect. The best thing that I can do as his servant is try my best and be consistently discontent with what little the world has to offer me, craving the abundance of Life. 


A Flashback To My Past, Encouragement of Growth

Well, I recently was looking through my e-mails and drafts, as I randomly do from time to time, and I found this poem. I would like to share it with you all.

Jackie O

I put my sunglasses on
So you can't see me cry.
I'm withering,
Shivering inside.
Thrown away the sheild of caution
for a sheild of pain.
I pray for Sunshine
to knock out the rain.

I'm exhausted,
I feel totally drained
But nothing lost,
is nothing gained.
I ride, I ride,
I ride all alone amongst
the crowd.
I'm afraid to be seen,
I'm afraid to shout.
Although not invisible,
you wouldn't believe
How I try, but fail,
to deceive.

I put my sunglasses on
to hide you from my eyes
From peering,
prying in my pride.
I am weary to be
vulnerable,
I feel I cannot take the risk.
Ask something personal,
my answer will be brisk.
Walking backwards down the
corridor.
I keep on wishing,
I once had something more.
The cost is high,
not what my life
can afford.

I put my sunglasses on,
so you can't see me escape.
You're talking and talking,
I'm backing away
So I can thwart your berate.
No one can love me
just the way I am
I must change,
re-arrange to belong
to a "perfect" man.
Something in my soul rings,
pull the bell of notice.
I ignore, I ignore,
I try to snore through this
but all darkness in the lenses,
cannot block the light.

Finally, but Finally,
After a matter of time...
I pull my sunglasses off
so you can see me cry.
I've wasted so much time,
there's nothing left to deny.
I'll show myself,
so you can see the truth.
I'm done with the mask,
done with the shade,
finished with the sherade.
Here I am,
All that I am.
Nothing more,
nothing less.
No Need for proof.


Natalie Steele 2004

Note: All blogs written and photographs taken by Natalie M. Steele are protected. Use of any pictures taken by NMS Photography, such as the above, without permission is seriously not recommended.

The Ups and Downs of Year 22

As always, it's been a while since my presence has been known on my blog. I suppose that means that God has been keeping me busy and that big changes are happening in my life. Each day that goes by this year, I feel significantly different. I also feel significantly in less control, with the reassurance that God is in more control of my life than I could ever be. At the same time, I realize that this very position of thought and being in my personal faith brings out very real insecurities that need to be squashed. Insecurities which place me in the thought pattern of being the victim. Mostly, my frailty comes from the root of being afraid to get hurt or allowing someone to manipulate me so that I trust them enough.In which case, I get hurt because I let myself down, I let myself fall into their trap. At times, I'm still weary of people's motives under the surface of what they appear to be saying or doing. This even encroaches upon relationships with people I dearly trust. All of this comes from my past history, which pops up here and there in my life when I don't expect it to. Sometimes we don't realize the sap-like residue of years past is still being stripped away from us. Perhaps restoration takes longer than I even thought. Although, I would have to say that I'm learning to take a stand for myself, to cut the ties when I see the warning sign. I don't deserve to be surrounded in a fish bowl of fear or victimization. I don't believe Jesus would promote that for my life. His life, death, and resurrection speak of freedom from all things that plague our hearts, minds and spirits due to our feeble sin nature as humans. He conquered Satan, as well as all the lies he tells. Amongst all of these realizations for myself is the nearing tangible knowledge of my humanity and how its vices require my humility. When I am least confident in my own ability that is when God becomes most confident and evident in my ability.

In the past few months, I have experienced varying degrees of depression. At my lowest point, I couldn't eat/had no appetite, no desire for things I have a passion for or even to look at them, a severe feeling of emotional exhaustion and utter sadness. One moment I could've been smiling, the next crying for no reason. In all of it, I had to remind myself that feelings are truly deceiving. What I was experiencing had its validity, but it did not have enough validity to merit control over my life. I've learned this year that I cannot be ashamed of what I am going through in my life. People will respond how they want to, but the important part is that I air everything out. It's not as important to them as it is my personal responsibility to do so. This process releases the burden. It reaches out to others. The reason why people feel so alone in desperate times is because they never come to full actualization (make what they are feeling real, acting upon it, and being realistic). This means that they never actualize themselves with others either, they wither on their own, hoping that someone will notice or read their minds. I don't think that the Christian community does enough sometimes to welcome the atmosphere of healing in vulnerability (within reasonable boundaries) to the hurting. Maybe we have a fear of what power it may provoke? Maybe we are afraid of what we may see in ourselves because of it? If that is the case, what are we afraid to expose that God doesn't already know?

I'm not exactly sure how to finish this off but to say that if there is one thing that I have learned to never doubt nor let the knowledge escape from me that God is ever-present and near in my life. He is my "right-hand man" (no pun intended). Which, is why Psalm 139 is very intimate and interactive in my daily life. My prayer is that my words have touched you in some way. May He keep you and bless you.

Sincerely,
Natalie M. Steele

Loss of Meaning?

Have you ever listened to a song so much on the radio that you get disgustingly annoyed with it? You are so digusted with hearing the extensive publicity of it that you totally ignore the meaning of the words. I'm talking about the real music that's not appreciated for it's true poetry, for it's simplistic, but powerful skill. Recently, I have experienced this in various ways amongst my life. Even to the point of catching my words painted with cycnicsm about this big box coporation, or that mass produced gadget, etc., etc. Our world is filled with tantalizing images and sounds that tempt our senses to be drawn in full throttle. As mentioned before, I have been feeling like I can't find my away back home again. So amongst my fustration and growing cynicism (help me God!), my mind has been screaming through the noise to ask what is most important, who is most important? How can I get to the bottom? How can I dig deeper and not be swallowed? Often times it's easier to be the mask of who you say you are than to actually be yourself. The trick is finding that place where you feel secure enough to do so without caring about the mass this and mass that. In a world that can swallow you up, are you allowing it to also mass produce you? Have you become a part of the animal? Where is the meaning and have we forgotten to stop to look up the words?

As the old year turns into the new one, I have grown weary of the complicated nature of the world around me. That also goes for the politics of what kind of Christian, Christians think I, or any other Christian "should" be. I have come to the conclusion that we all have the same core values in our faith with God, yet, different people learn, relate, and worship differently to each other and to their Saviour. There cannot be one set way of routine for every one to express their devotion. After all God made us in His own image. Think about how vast that is! Another issue is the area of conviction. Personally, I believe that drinking alcohol is bad for me because it leads me down dangerous paths. The smell of it, the look of it, the lure of it, drives me to think of it constantly, how I can bypass every one and everything I value in life to get it. I wouldn't care who I would hurt in the process. For another person, they also could be Christian and still take a respectful taste of alcohol every once and a while, yet it would not cross their personal convictions. There is no excuse for abuse of something, however, if you have examined in your heart your personal conviction about an issue that you face and lined it up accordingly with the Bible as well as with what the Holy Spirit is conveying to you in your heart about it, than there should be no problem. You cannot force your own convictions to be someone else's (this goes for witnessing as well). It will only end up in hardness and religiousity. I often wonder in this man made organization of the church, if Christ would be knocking over our temple tables? Would he be upset because we are mass producing a robot collective of Christian religion? One size fits all? How can God have a size if He is immeasurable in His power? He is a different God to different people. So if this is true, than are we putting him in a box in an attempt to produce Him in our lives? HOW TWISTED!

I am noticing that my generation of ministers [along with myself] are asking a lot of these questions. Secondly, they are desperately wanting a revolutionary change in the church in order to let Jesus and His people get down with their redeemed selves. Recognition has been given that youth in the following generations are far more experiential in their lives than ever and this is how, when they are given the chance/choice, they will relate to God. This is precisely why it is imperative for Christians to be uniquely transparent in their faith. First impressions last a life time no matter how many firsts are experienced together. Youth of today are dying to be provided with ways to make things in the world that are important relavent to them. Given them an open forum to do so. It's time to step up and challenge the normal so that we deserve the title of "Jesus Freaks."

God Bless,
Natalie M. Steele

Finding Your Way Back Home

Sometimes when there's an upheaval in your life, you seem to get on a path that was not intended. You get to a point where you wonder how you got there. You feel over your head. Some days you are pushing through instead of working through. Where's the peace? Where's the unity? Where's the place of restoration or refuge? You totally forget to depend on God and you realize that you've ben trying to do everything on your own. How can you find your way back home? To the place that you can be covered in grace.

I have just realized this fact in my own life and asked the question. I'm still not sure how to answer that question, except just to reach for God and hang on, while asking for constant guidance. I'll be the first to admitt that I fail more than succeed because of pride. I find that in this upheaval, I'm grieving for the things that were supposed to be and maybe what was lost. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret what has happened. You've always got to move onto something better. One thing I've tried to stop doing is trying on my own. Rather, I've stopped trying raise up the passions of faith that I desire and started praying for God to do that. This eliminates the guilt cycle (I've tried everything and yet failed you Lord! WHY?! I'm a bad Christian. I'm sorry God help me. Oops I've tried and failed again. Sorry God! I give up!) that many Christians get stuck in, eventually making them feel helpless to improve.

All of this situation reminds me of a vision I had. All around me were green feilds and in the middle ahead of me was an uphill cobble stone path. There were various sizes of stones and spaces in between them where the grass had organically peeked up. Some of the stones were smooth and others rough. I was wearing high heeled boots while trying to walk up this path. Because I am not skilled in walking in high heels I was having a difficult time walking with style. It was a blancing act. I had a choice to walk on the smooth stones that had been worn from others use or choose to walk upon the part of the path less traveled. A third choice would be to slip through the cracks to the green grass, where I would be stuck in the soft ground with my heels, but maybe a little more comfortable in complacency. At least I wouldn't have to go any further. But then I ask myself, what would I gain from this? Will this make me a better person for giving up?

This subject recalls in my mind a poignant conversation that my big brother and I had in the car one day. It was all about stepping stones; going through tough situations to establish stepping stones behind for others as well as carrying them with me. It doesn't mean leaving all the bad stuff behind for others to torture themselves with, but rather allowing your steps to smooth out the cobble stone path ahead (wisdom). At times things can seem to be an uphill battle with only a glimpse of the horizon. I'm all about going where no one that I know has gone. This can work for or against me. Nevertheless, I hate being a groupie, which is one reason why I make take the harder path, even just for the experience. (I'm stubborn too.) Christians (myself included) can find it easier to be a groupie of Christ because it makes it easier to hide underneath the mask of Christianity or Christianese culture. The hardest thing can be to find your own voice, how to walk on the cobblestones of your faith, FOR YOURSELF. This is especially hard for youth who come from a Christian family or a child of parents in ministry [but that's another issue].

So again, I ask...How can you find your way back home? I'd like to hear comments about this. So feel free.

God Bless,
Natalie M. Steele

Note: All blogs written and photographs taken by Natalie M. Steele are protected. Use of any pictures taken by NMS Photography, such as the above, without permission is seriously not reccommended

Just a Note

Hey All,
Just a short message. For an ongoing number of months I have had these cryptic and mysterious e-mails from someone that possibly knows me, commenting about my spiritual journey. I would just like to say for all those out there that may come across my blog or that read it that in NO WAY shape or form is this blog a criticism on anyone but rather an example of my personal walk with Jesus Christ. I have always made a habit of only naming those that have enforced the importance of walking in integrity and that have mentored me so that I can become a better Christian (even then, rarely because I would like to protect them and their family). I will never make this blog a place of criticism and never intended it to be. The purpose of this blog is to make my life an open book so that God can touch others when they are in need.

I thank God for this medium and pray that people who read it WILL be touched by His power.

Thank-you and God Bless!
Natalie M. Steele

Brought Up From The Water Deep

In my life, I have been made captive through disappointments, guilt, hurt, self-hatred, and unforgiveness. So many times I have faced the mask of defeat, forgetting that God's love never fails. The fortresses that I have built on my own are in ruins, despite what the false exterior portrays. For so many years, this has been the case until a series of events and revelations entered my life that have ultimately changed me forever. One of those events was my baptism in Duns, Scotland. It was important for me to be baptized in the UK because it is where I re-committed myself as a Christian. Being able to stand up and share my bold and truthful testimony infront of strangers took faith that God was going to use my vulnerability, my story, for good. As I shared, I felt God loosening the last of the chains of shame, guilt and self-punishment. The verse Jeremiah 29:11 ("For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope...") came into a whole new meaning for me. When I was lowered into the water, I felt God's peace fall upon me. As I was brought back up, I felt that everything from my past had been washed off of me. No feelings of guilt, shame, or defeat. In fact, I felt the opposite. I was empowered, refreshed, encouraged and a child of God anew. I wanted to go out and share God's love with everyone. For once, I was released from the care of what people may think of me and of my Christianity. I knew that my calling requires my obedience, my love and respect for the sacrifice of Christ so that I may humbly be an example. This is why I chose Phillipians 2:12-13, 14-16 as my baptismal scripture.

Dearest Friends, you were always so careful to follow my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away you must be even more careful to put into action God's with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him.
In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing, so that no one can speak a word of blame against you. You are to live clean, innocent lives as children of God in a dark word full of crooked and perverse people [live as lights in the world amongst a dark and crooked generation]. Let your lives shine brightly before them. Hold tightly to the word of life, so that when Christ returns, I will be proud that I did not lose the race and that my work was not useless. (NIV [NLT])

Every day I encounter a chance to be a light among the world. I am constantly reminding myself that Jesus died on the same cross for me as He did for others. He wants to offer the same hope to others through my imperfections and the grace demonstrated in my life. I must be careful not to be arrogant with the righteousness I have experienced but rather open my arms to others circumstances. I have a chance to serve God in little ways.

I want to encourage those who are considering baptism to not feel pressured into it, or feel like you have to follow others. Do it when you feel the Holy Spirit is leading you to. Who cares if everyone else has done it. This is your relationship with Christ, so follow the pace God has set for you. You'll know the time and the place. A friend of mine, Murray (whose blog is conencted to mine below), went to church dressed up in a silk shirt, not intending to be baptised that night, but the Spirit moved him, and he did it, silk shirt and all. Me, I've waited until my 21st year because I didn't feel ready until now. Baptism has allowed me to step into a new phase in my walk with Christ. I pray your experience with Baptism will bless you as much as it has blessed me.

Be encouraged because Jesus Loves You and has set you free!

In Christ,
Natalie M. Steele

Note: All blogs written and photographs taken by Natalie M. Steele are protected. Use of any pictures taken by NMS Photography, such as the above, without permission is seriously not reccommended.

The Scottish Borders; God's Country, My Country

As many of you know, I spent two weeks in the Scottish Borders, Duns, Scotland in January of this year. Every time I visit the UK, I never come home (to Canada) the same. When I got off the plane in Amsterdam to catch my connection to Edinburgh, my nerves started jumping because I just wanted to get "home" (as I call it, because it is just like home). As we crossed the North Sea on the coast of Scotland, my heart started crying...HOME and my FAMILY! I was so glad to touch ground and even happier to see my big brother, Jonathan, meeting me inside the airport. I jumped in excitement into his arms to give him a big hug. I settled in, a couple days went by, and all was silent. If you spent some time with this family, you'd discover how unusual that is. All the while, my life in action was being observed by my big brother and his wife with the Holy's Spirit's knowledge and sensitivity. When the moment came, and the silence broke with confrontation, my arrogant notion that I was prepared to defend my actions was totally blown out of the water. I had no answers but excuses. I realized how much deception I had enabled myself with day to day through excuses. I didn't want to take ownership of my weaknesses nor my sin in them. This is what I wrote in my journal about it;

God,

I need you in m weaknesses now and always. I had overlooked areas in my life thinking I was above them but yet, I am so decieved by them. I have used your grace as an excuse to be above every one else and I'm so unbelieveably sorry for that. I have had false humility in my heart amongst sin. Just like last night driving in the Borders, no stars were seen, and the hills were barely recognized. This is an illustration of my heart and my life. There is so much beauty out there but it is hidden in darkness. You can't see it 'till daylight comes. I need more than a torch to light my way. I am struggling with rampant sin covering my heart and my mind. I need to stop shifting the blame on others or circumstances. I need to stop pulling out the innocent glances to manipulate people's reactions and to grow up to take responsibility for my actions as an ADULT. At the same time, I cannot allow myself the luxury of falling into my weaknesses because "God has already forgiven me"...

LORD, I have been kidding myself that I have come further than I had thought, that your grace exempts me from the things that every one else has trouble with. I have been thinking that I'm better than every one else in certain areas. I have been arrogant and prideful in my thinking. For this, I pray forgive me...

Your Child,
Natalie

1 Corinthians 5:7
" Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you are already unleavened [by Christ]."

During this process of God stripping more layers away, I began to ask myself some key questions through an illustration that was offered to me. This illustration was of Christ being a river flowing in and out of us that is constantly refreshed and renewed. It also involved a puddle - stagnent water, dirt has settled, rubbish floating - nothing flowing in or out. Below are those key questions:

1) Who/what is your river instead of God?
2) Are you looking to someone to be the container of the river of God for you?
3) Issues - Are you planted in them? Are you feeding off of the stagnent water?
4) Enemies - Are you consumed by [an] enemies? By issues? By stumbling blocks? Negative behaviours?
5) Are you trying to succeed on your own strength and becoming dehydrated?

I realized that I was the stagnent puddle, that I would continue to be if I didn't begin to ask God to daily refresh me with awareness of my weaknesses. I also needed to actively recognize my responsibility to change my actions before I act.

I have used my own example not to give glory to myself, but rather to demonstrate what can happen in each of our lives (when we've turned our head the other way) when we have stumbling blocks. It is also to say that these stubling blocks can become stepping stones, if one chooses to make them so by pinpointing past compromises and crushing them with a new path. Ultimately, those stepping stones can assist you and the many others that follow behind.

Love in Christ,
Natalie M. Steele

"Sin and Satan presence in our lives is the poison that kills us. Jesus Christ is our only antidote." - Tara White

Note: All blogs written and photographs taken by Natalie M. Steele are protected. Use of any pictures taken by NMS Photography, such as the above, without permission is seriously not reccommended.

The World's Faces Are a Fake Canvas

You may think that what you are painting your life on a canvas that is nothing less than spectacular. One day, you return to check the curing of your master piece and you discover that something has gone terribly wrong. All of the colours have melted altogether, and none of the image is recognizable. You painstakingly research in your head what could’ve been the cause of this tragedy. Were the materials you used genuine, were you taken for a ride, deceived by the materials you used? After much thought, you come to the conclusion that the canvas you used still must have had impurities left on it that reacted negatively with the paint. The canvas material was not genuinely pure. I’m not an artist, and I don’t even know if this could happen in real life, but just go with me on an illustrative tangent.

Often times in circumstances that are temptingly too hard to face, we react by putting on a mask, or painting a pretty picture for ourselves and others. It’s really a horrible facade. Sometimes years pass before we begin to recognize that our lives, our beliefs, our morals, are being tainted by the chemicals, our soul SIN (as my gramps would put it), that we have attempted to paint over. The layers of paint are beginning to smear and decay. We then look at ourselves and see something that is no longer recognizable. Our attempts to cover over what was too painful to face, was really, a deep calling for help that no one may have been brave enough to stick their neck out for.

It is a pity that society has aided the effort to boycott the value of vulnerability and the strength that comes out of weakness. Even women have been combatted with the same pressures that men face to be "STRONG!" and not ask for help, because asking for help would mean that we can’t do it alone. That must mean that if we can’t do it alone, we are not valuable to the world, and thus not loveable. LIES!! I’m not going to blame this all on society to escape my own responsibility in this matter or even the church’s. The truth is, that we are all a part of society. Ultimately, we are all a society of the children of God. Guys, Gals, it’s up to us to change these lies by opening our arms to each other with God’s love and creating an atmosphere in the world where no one has to hide behind these life destructing masks. It can be as simple as being a listening ear to someone who feels totally invisible to the world, remembering the details that are important to them, making their life apart of your life. Imagine how many ugly masks you can help peel back from their faces by doing something so simple. Be a light in some one’s life where you sense that there is more than meets the eye. Remind them that there is nothing so horrible that they may have done that would separate them from the love of God, their creator (Romans 8:39).Only then, will they be able to begin to discover who they genuinely are after all their years of painting a "pretty" picture have past.

MOST importantly, we must remind ourselves that because we are Christian, it does not mean we are immune to such tactics of facade. Even our SpiRITUALS can be a mask to hide behind our insecurities with ourselves, with others, our faith, and our relationship with God. We can be such fools raising our hands, dancing around, sporting our musical ability, shouting in tongues for all to hear, and preaching to all the trees, trying to top one another’s "Godliness"(Romans 6:12-14). What a bunch of horse pile! In this world of pridefulness and equality of hurt, this world needs REAL, transparent Christians. Admitting vulnerability in our humanity is an open door to letting Christ use us as His most powerful tools.

I leave you with a poem that I recently came upon in Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul. May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.

Yours In Christ,
Natalie M. Steele
"Mighty Woman of God in Training"


Please Hear What I’m Not Saying

Don’t be fooled by me.
Don’t be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
masks that I’m afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that’s second nature to me,
but don’t be fooled.
For God’s sake don’t be fooled.
I give you the impression that I’m secure,
that confidence is my name and coolness is my game,
that the water’s calm and I’m in command,
and that I need no one.
But don’t believe me,
My surface may even seem smooth by my surface
is my mask, ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don’t want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being
exposed. That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance is precisely my salvation.
My only hope, and I know it.
That is, if it’s followed by acceptance,
is it’s followed by love.
It’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It’s the only thing that will assure me
of what I can’t assure myself,
that I’m really worth something.
I don’t like to hide.
I don’t like to play superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me,
but you’ve got to help me.
You’ve got to hold out your hand
even when that’s the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the bland stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you’re kind and gentle and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings,
very feeble wings,
but wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling
you can breath life into me.
I want you to know that.

Who am I, you may wonder.
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet,
and I am every woman you meet.

Author Unknown


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I Stand Amazed, I Stand in Grace

In the past few weeks, so many lives I know have been turned up-side-down. Christmas time has so much joy and cause for celebration, but also, so much sorrow for many. A young girl, whom I assisted in mentoring while I was in England 2004, has recently been convicted and sentenced to six months in juvenille imprisionment. I cannot even begin to understand what she is thinking while sitting in a cold cell through this season; My cousin has been diagnosed with stage 4 Lymphoma Cancer; A young man facing a serious court case and in need of good defence; My best friend's father in a coma, with a 5% chance of living. She has to face the demons of her anger for his many years of abuse, violation, divorce, and betrayal. I almost don't get it, but after a little thought, I understand. I understand why Christ's birth, death, and ressurection heats up the old coals lying around near the bottom of the fireplace. Christ's beginnings erased the norm of thousands of years of complacency. Christ's beginnings were those of a call to sacrifice our past, ressurect our purpose for the future, and in that to live anew, having gone through OUR journey to the cross. This walk to the cross is not purely to seek forgiveness, but also to shake off the chains, the extra luggage. It is a lesson of how to travel light and for HIM to be your traveling light. We begin our journey to the cross every time we seek to know where we stand in our relationship with Jesus Christ. I was reminded of this timeless lesson while playing, "I Stand Amazed", on my guitar this evening. I was also reminded of how grateful I am to have gone through a coble stone ladden past. I realized that God's grace not only has covered me on my journey to purpose-filled ressurection through Him. I can be of support and pass His grace on to those who do not have the strength, by blazing the way ahead of them, much like I have in my past. I can take their place underneath that heavy cross, before the throne of God, to lift their sorrows, sacrifices, grief and despair. I can be the bearer, the person of peace in their life - much like Jesus.

Mark boyd, composer of "I Stand Amazed", hits spot on with the description of how many of us feel at points in our lives. [Emphasis by me]

I bring you my heart, I bring you my praise
I bring you the broken dreams I've lost along the way
I lift up my voice, I lift up my hands
I lift up the moments in my life that I don't understand
And I lay it at the cross where I'm surrounded by your grace
And I marvel at the wonder of your love

.....
I stand amazed, I stand in awe
I stand forgiven in the midst of it all
.....

I offer You thanks, I offer you my life
I offer a sacrifice of praise when I'm scattered by the night
For you are my shelter, You are my King
You are the risen Son of God, the Lord of everything
.....

I don't know how many times I've sung this as a prayer, shed tears, and at the same time, while discouraged, felt encouraged.

I have come to the conclusion that I believe that in such times as Christmas the status of tragedies hightens because the Lord Almighty is beckoning our eyes to look upon Him. To follow the star and find a beautiful promise at the end of a long journey. Most of all, he is beckoning us to bring the great person of peace (His Son) into circumstances where words cannot be sorted and actions can only speak. Truly, "when our depravity meets His divinity, it is a beautiful collision (David Crowder)."


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21st Gear; Climbing Farther from the Valleys

On December 9th, I celebrated my 21st birthday with friends and family. Some say that their 20th year doesn’t make a difference, and their 21st still doesn’t make you feel any different, just older. I myself would have to disagree. Looking back upon my years since I was 19, I have totally turned around from the person I once knew. Even in the past weekend I learned a new perspective about myself that I was blown away by. In my 20th year, something undescribable happened within me. It was like God just went and put a higher watt bulb in the socket and turned on a huge light switch. I have always been smart, it’s more that I realized I had started to become an adult. Responsibility was mine, and it was up to me to begin to revolutionize the way I acted, spoke, and sung on my own stage. No longer did I have a total covering of my family. Even though my family is around, I have had to look deep into the well of who I am apart from them.And so, the journey began, with the carpet being ripped from underneath my feet and the nastiest sores being exposed. THANK GOD! Satan’s lies and excuses of low self-value, people pleasing, trying on all the masks of SpiRITUALISM, burying myself in pity, anger, depression, self-defeat, the need to prove my worth…GONE! The hardest part of facing the tough stuff is losing pride to then be vulnerable. I had to start from somewhere, and THAT was definitely humbling. I have never been a horrible person, but when all the masks were torn off of me, I had to face head on what, who I really was, and MOST of all, begin to see the truth in God’s image of me. After that, I had to take a stand for myself and take a hard look at the bad apples in my life whether it was people, things, behaviours, etc. The tedious part was sticking to the guidelines I had set out for myself. Those were the foundational steps to the walk I lead today.

Recently, I was involved in a seminar that talked about The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (often used in pre-marital counselling). There, I discovered something huge about myself. A year ago, if you would’ve told me that I was a good person, I would’ve hmmmed and hawed, made excuses, etc. Now, I totally don’t need someone to tell me that I’m a good person because I would automatically respond, “DARN RIGHT I AM!” My love languages have totally switched up. Once where my need for words of affirmation was top priority, sits my need for quality time. Words of affirmation is at the BOTTOM of the list. I credit this not to myself, but to God and his surgery. He worked through my vulnerability to seek after His image for me. I now know that I have a solid foundation in His purposes, His promises, and His image for me in me. That will never change. I may have doubt in the surroundings I live in but I have NO wavering doubt on the rock on which I stand. As long as I keep humble, he will be able to mould me into a Mighty Woman of God. I no longer need to look to other people to validate who I am because I have learned to soothe myself through God’s truth for me. I have never felt so happy in my own skin as I do now. God is working on me daily, and I look forward to every day so that he, the wick in my center, can burn away me. Pride is only a superficial thing to loose and a small sacrifice, compared to the reward of the REALity of yourself that will be revealed through loving actions.

My advice to all the gals out there, young and old, single or attached. Invest the time to find out who you are apart from everyone else or your significant other. In your most intimate moments with yourself and God you will begin to peel back the mystery of His promises for you. This investment will be the MOST rewarding thing that you can do for yourself. If all else is gone, if every one you know and love leaves you in the dust, the one thing that you will be able to count on is the image in which you are beheld in God’s eye. Don’t ever depend on others to validate/value who you are, because in the end, only God will be left and only HE can be the un-shifting rock.

And so, I move on from here, blessed with another year of promises great and small. Another year of learning patience and faith, turning curses into gifts, and helping others do the same. Come, I encourage you all to follow so that the world can watch us be the ammunition for the future.

God Bless


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WATCH ME GET WICKED LIKE A HAND GRENADE!!!

I was recently going through my journals, as I do once and a while, and I came upon a poem I wrote. I wrote it while reading Nikki Cruz' book, Run Baby Run, an autobiography of Cruz' days as a gang member in New York and his journey to know Jesus as his Saviour. Nikki Cruz was the first "disciple" off the street that David Wilkerson "recruited." For those of you who need a reminder, David Wilkerson is the author of the renowned book, The Cross and The Switchblade, as well as the founder of Teen Challenge Ministries (I proudly say that my family was a part of that ministry for 9 Years!!), now a world-wide ministry to rehabilitate alcohol and drug addicts. In my poem, I make reference to bullets. Nikki's gang experiences led me to a metaphorical revelation about bullets. Whether literal or not, bullets can hurt and even kill. For me, bullets represent the words, the actions, and the circumstances in our lives in which we can hurt others with or make light of them for good. As Christians we have an exceptional power through the Holy Spirit to be "The Ammunition For The Future."

BULLETS, BULLETS
IN THE SKY.
BULLETS, BULLETS
AIMING HIGH.
DOWN BELOW
THE DARK POWDER
LIES.
KILLING THE SHADOWS,
NO ONE C R I E S.
UNDER THE NIGHT,
ONLY OUR SOULS
KNOW WHAT IS
WRONG.

BULLETS, BULLETS
LIKE STREAMS OF
DEATH.
BULLETS, BULLETS
ONE LAST BREATH.
IN THE LOT
RED CLEAN UP LOOMS.
CHEERING HAS FADED
ALL ARE MAROONED.

FUTURE TELLS US
TIMES ARE
BLEAK,
BUT WHO'S
FACE DO WE SEEK?

BULLETS, BULLETS
FATAL B L O W.
BULLETS, BULLETS
IT'S TIME TO SHOW.
UP ABOVE,
THE STREET LIGHT SHINES
CROWDING OUR SINS,
BLEMISHES IT B L I N D S.
UNDER THE DAY
WE CANNOT HIDE.
OUR CONSCIENCE NUDGES
HARD IN THE SIDE.

BULLETS, BULLETS
WHAT WE DO?
BULLETS, BULLETS
HOW, WHERE & WHO?
RUNNNING FORWARD,
R U N SIDE-BY-SIDE
TAKE THE BULLET,
HOP ON A RIDE.
UNDER THE S C O P E,
AIM NIGHT OR DAY
IN THE SHADOWS
I CANNOT STAY.

WATCH-A GUNNA DO
WHEN WE FREAKS ARE KILLIN'?
WHEN WE NOT CHILLIN'?
THE MOST HIGH GAVE US
AMMUNITION FOR POWER &
DRIVE.
INSTEAD WE BOMBING,
SHOOTING SOULS &
K-NIVIN'.

BULLETS, BULLETS
CAN BLEED EVEN US.
IT'S TIME TO DO RIGHT,
IN GOD WE TRUST.
THE CROSS IS OLD
BUT THE NAILS HAVE NOT
RUST.
MATURING WISDOM
WE SHOULD FROM IT HAR-VEST
AGAIN I SAY,
IN GOD WE TRU-UST.

BULLETS, BULLETS
NONE ARE DYING.
BULLETS, BULLETS
GOD'S MIGHT IS FLYING.
ON DISPLAY BRIGHTLY,
FOR ALL TO SEE.
SAVING MILLIONS,
STARTING BY ONE, TWO & THREE
WE, OBLIVIOUS TO
THE STARES.
WE, THE AMMUNITION
OF THE RARE-IST.

~Natalie M. Steele
~May 10, 2005

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7 Processes to Measure Your Spiritual Vitals

At times we need a reminder of where we are at with God and to check our spiritual vitals. "KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! IS ANY ONE LIVING INSIDE THERE?" My Pastor recently preached a sermon with 7 processes to measure spiritual vitals, along with some key questions to ask oneself. That being said, I'd like to share them with you.

Warning: One graphic example may make some people squirm.

1. Movement - an energy within that signals the process is moving. A driving force that is contagious among the masses that produces transition and change. Are you really moving or have you convinced yourself that you are moving?
   
   
2. Respiration- Just like a plant in osmosis, God is breathing out upon us so that we can receive his life that makes us go into full bloom.
   
   APART FROM CHRIST THERE IS NO LIFE!
   Am I trusting God with every department of my life?
   
   ** Are you holding your breath?**
   ~ When you go from service to service are you holding your breath, then letting it go when you can't hold it any longer?
   ~Christianity is more than diving in to each event and holding your breath.
   
   
3. Sensitivity- Are we sensing what is happening around us? Are we aware of the spiritual climate among Christians and non-Christians alike? Have we become hardened towards those we need to be sensitive to?
   
   
4. Growth- Sometimes slow, sometimes fast, but it always needs a seed sown to start the process of movement.
   
   **Are you personally growing?**
   ~Are you just surviving from one sermon to another, from one church event to another, and living on other's teaching?
   ~OR are you searching for your own teaching with Christ?
   
   **What will you sacrifice?** No Extra sandals or garments, no place to lay your head!!
   ~ When will you be willing to make your life right with God so that he can put you in His perfect place?
   
   
5. Reproduction- Living out what God has breathed in and upon us. Are you living out what God has called you to do? Are you breathing out the breath of God upon others around you?
   
   **Are you reproducing?**
   ~ Is there at least one person believing in Jesus because of your life's example?
   ~ Is there at least one person around you emulating your life?
   
   
6. Excrement- In our lives we sometimes build up with mucky sin. If it is not released, it becomes toxic. One can die if their bowels become hardened and cannot be released. Jesus knew when to "move on" before the situation got toxic. We need to allow God to do what is beneficial; trust Him to know when there is a situation that we need to let go of.
   
   "THE BOWELS OF CHRIST"
   EVERYTHING IS MOVING WITHIN
   
   **Are you REALLY living?
   
   
7. Nutrition- Jesus is the only Bread of Life. We cannot survive long without the proper nutrition to nourish our bodies. The same is with our spiritual bodies. Our human bodies will pass away, but our spiritual bodies live on.

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Leverage and Purpose

Hello Everyone!

I apologize for slacking here. Life has delt some tough ones lately and my family is going through some transition. So, I've decided to comment on my life a bit and share with everyone where God has been leading me. May God bless you through this!


As days go by, I realize that God is taking my gifting’s and moulding them in ways that I never thought and places I never thought of. There are vast open doors that God is leading my heart through for the future. I can’t wait to jump in and be lavished, not by money, people or things, but by the simplicity of God’s abundance in His one on one ministry. Every day I am starting from today for the future; learning how to be the soaking sponge of Christ pouring over His mercies. The One love I have in this world truly comes down to Him and the hopes of His heart for His children. My soul cries out with tears of joy every time I see a soul saved, a fellow brother or sister forgiven, a child given a second chance. All of these, are miracles of God that I will be able to adMINISTER at times no one expects.
I have been through many transitions that, at times, seemed pointless and hopeless. I have shaken my fist at God and even blamed myself for “failures.” The fact is, they were failures because I called them so. My views of these tough transitions have changed drastically. They continue to change from moment to moment, day to day, and month to month. All of these circumstances are God’s leverage. And when I think of leverage, I have a vision of this huge caveman boulder with a smaller boulder in front to hold it in place. God is standing ready with a huge stick wedged underneath the boulder. At a moment when no one expects it, He uses the right leverage to get it moving. Like in the Godzilla movies, everyone is running from the boulder because they are afraid. I believe that boulder is God’s metaphor for me. When I am obedient and faithful to His purposes, not matter how simple the task, I can be the one to IMPACT (a bad joke – har, har) people with the gifts that He has given me – even when they are afraid of it. God is consistently giving me leverage and preparation for the future. A curse is a curse if you make it; A gift is a curse if you make it. Make a curse a gift when it is given to you. I can live better now that I have begun to develop the ability to admitt that I have been given a pile of dung, accept it, and respond “Now God, what can we do with this pile to make it smell pretty.” God never gives us something He knows we can’t handle.

Many times I have been given visions and prophecies by total strangers that I am like a “puzzle that can’t find it’s missing piece” (Coldplay’s song “Talk” explains all of what I feel about this and is another unexpected summary of the prophecies). Each day I feel that missing piece in the puzzle is drawing closer in God’s hand. I don’t feel so uneasy that people object that I’m doing and believing in things that others haven’t done or said within the circle of my friends and family. I’m not up to doing the ordinary, I’m up to doing what is ordinary to God. Although this is so cliché, don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t do something that may be out of the box. I have battled many times with the fact that the people closest to me can be the worst supporters. Every where you go, every one will have a great idea for your life. The fact of the matter is, that God has a BETTER idea for your life. Surround yourself with mentors and people that you can take faith queue’s from. I have been blessed to have mentors that I am able to share my life with and vice versa. Although I haven’t always listened to them at first, trust me, their God-given wisdom WILL come into place when you need it the most.

Some of you may have no idea where God is leading you in His purpose. If you are one of those people, look at the things that God pulls your heart strings with, the things that don’t shock you but shock others, your blossoming hopes and dreams, your convictions, etc. I thank God that he has confirmed for me ever since I was 10, without a doubt, what direction he wants me to head in. There is no question I am meant to be a psychologist in ministry. Signs of confirmation stare at me when I look at horrible Romanian slums and I am not shocked, but encouraged that there is hope and that God can prepare me to be one of those people who builds up the next generation for God. I want to be amongst the most humble means so that I can understand the wealth of God’s power. I am being prepared to be a person who ministers within the “weathly” Christian community, the prostitutes, the bums, the alcoholics, the drug addicts, the orphaned and abandoned children, the single-parents, the diseased, the wife-beaters, the street people, the shirt and ties, and the blue collard. I am a person born to bring out controversy for righteousness and to bring the wisdom, grace, and love of God to whom ever it may be. This is my calling.

In this whole process, I am praying that I am strong enough to let God hack off my rough edges (Those who are close, please be patient with me). I am also praying that God continues to give me the discretion that I need to know when the time comes to get up and run. I am always called as a Saint, but sometimes a stand-by status is needed.One major lesson I am learning is that THINGS and PEOPLE will NEVER complete who I am. In all objectivity, I don’t NEED my family and their approval, I don’t NEED a guy to make me feel unique and special, I don’t NEED money, I don’t NEED my education and dream of England, I don’t NEED my house, my car, my guitar, my computer, my cds, and everything else. It may sound harsh but the bare truth = ALL I NEED IS CHRIST. He makes me complete and has all the abundance in His kingdom for me, NOT in the world. If you feel yourself saying that statement and then in your heart you hear a “but…” then you know you need a re-evaluation. I know I did. It’s a risky life to live by this statement. Are you up to it? Are you up to what’s ordinary to God?

When the time comes, I will be ready to leave my extra traveler’s bag behind, my extra coat, my extra sandals, and my walking stick (Matt 10:9-14).

Until then I say…

I am Called. I am Chosen. I am a Child of God. I am boldly Natalie Steele.

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Nothing Else To Lose But ME

I fall to my knees,
then to run again;
Away from my friends
and you, my lamb.

I fall to my knees,
then burn again;
Not for you, my
saviour friend.
I have been looking
to myself on the cross.

I fall to my knees,
in weeping sin,
I am covered by
blood outside-in.
Keep me from saving
what is not lost.

I fall to my knees
from this dizzy spin,
It's taunting guiltiness
draws me in.
I have been lured
by a nasty lie.

Nothing seems to matter
when you are hardened
within.
All feels cold, defenseless
and dim.
Pull on the shade
to bring some light.
AH! Who knew this would be so bright!
In a world, I have
sunken back to,
I need your love to pull me through.

To let go of the gaurd,
once and for all.
I could let you spread my wings
and make me stand tall.
I need to trust,
so I can lean back and fall,
get off my high horse
and jump from my Berlin wall...
crumbling behing me.

I fall to my knees,
afraid to land.
Teach me how to hold
your hand.
I've been struggling to
admitt that I am weak and lost.

I fall to my knees,
at the bottom of it all.
Beneath the mire;
The truth screams.
All I need is you, Lord
It's you, Lord
All I need is you...

"When the world keeps spinning 'round, there's nothing left to lose but me."

~Natalie M. Steele
May 5, 2005

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We Are All Artists at Heart

Recently I attended Vineyard Worship Summit 2005, endowed with the theme “Finding Our Voices: Values We Live By.” The purpose of the 2005 Summit was to find out who we are as individuals created by God to worship Him, and where our artistic voices lie in His master plan for us, as well as in/outside the church community. Although this seems simple enough, we did a lot of searching to find the full beauty of what God meant to be worship through “artistic” means. Simply said, we searched for the meaning of artistic integrity. Prayer for each other, group discussion, and listening to the heart of God were our main vehicles to help us in this search.

During this summit, there was a pivotal point for me, amongst many overwhelming words and lessons. It was a peak at the full realization of how artistry and worship fit together in everyday life. My eyes were opened to the many facets of artistry as worship. Being an artist does not mean u HAVE to be a guitarist or a painter or an actor. God does not constrict artistry within such tight boundaries.

This Summit was a celebration, a liberation for graphic designers, architects, musicians, painters, actors, poets, writers, gardeners, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, mentors, mechanics, film makers, home makers, hospitality, computer programmers…. the list could go on! It was liberation in a sense that this Summit equipped us with the means to express our God-given voice within a haven-like setting. The barriers of what is “acceptable” and “not acceptable” worship were broken down. At times, it was even awkward for us to break out of the traditional mould. I felt myself being shocked that people were drawing/painting, writing, on their laptops, etc. while worship was being led. Even at the age of 20, I have been influenced by the traditional views of worship. What to do, what not to do, what IS worship, and what definitely IS NOT worship. We did all the things that the church culture would frown upon, because it was “disrespectful”, in total freedom! These were the things that allowed us the individual outlets of worshipful expression! GOD CREATED US ALL TO WORSHIP IN DIFFERENT WAYS! All of who we are in our living purpose drives us to be artists in individual ways. Believe me when I say that all of this was a breath of fresh air!

If you are saying to yourself, “I don’t know where I heck I fit in!?”, don’t worry. Just sit back, take a look at yourself through God’s eyes, and think about what activity drives you, gives you overflowing passion and joy. THAT is your purpose, THAT is your art, THAT is your worship. Our idea of worship is full of church politics, “upright”, and in the box. God’s idea of worship is full of freedom, joy, and OUT of the conventional box. Encourage yourself to worship the way you feel you were meant to, even if you think u look totally daft. In doing so, you will be celebrating YOU through God’s eyes of purity. I guarantee you that you will experience a fire being poured into your life.

God Bless You,
Natalie M. Steele


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“Taking It Out Of The Regular Boundaries”

As this title suggests, sometimes the things you thought didn’t work at all together, one day come together. God has been connecting the most regularly unconnectible for me. Take the scriptures Mark 2:12 and 1 Corinthians 2:12 for example. Don’t think that the story of the paralytic and Paul’s words don’t connect? WRONG!

Mark 2:12 (ESV) reads;

And he rose and immediately picked up his bed and went out before them all, so that they were all amazed and glorified God, saying, “We never saw anything like this!”

This passage is not limited to pointing out “blind faith”, on the part of the paralytic, and Jesus’ healing ministry, that professed the freedom that he was to bring for us. It points out that our situations/attitudes often make it easy to become crippled by what we are going through. When we handle our attitudes/situations while trusting Christ, like the paralytic and his friends did, he can bring healing as well as make our lives an example of His power. Only then, will people be able to say, “WOW! We have never seen anything like this before!” If we are desperate enough to get to Jesus [even being lowered through a roof], then that is when He can do the most work for us and through us! Because the amazing work by God is shown, all will glorify His name. This includes our pure belief and acceptance that His love and freedom are at no cost to us. That is what makes His Holy Spirit so evidently powerful in our lives to others. God purposely does the things that no one has ever seen before so that His mark has a particular significance in one’s life. I guess you could say that it’s His thumbprint, His signature upon us, reaffirming our need to trace our hearts and paths back to Him. Therefore, His work in our lives is always a reminder of our roots as His creation, as spiritual beings, and our purpose; TO PRAISE HIM!

1 Corinthians 2:12 (ESV) reads;

Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God.

God has empowered us with His spirit, which bears all the tools that we need to get through life and understand everything beyond ourselves. The Holy Spirit is the most qualified to help us through times of uncertainty, because he infuses into our minds the knowledge (tools) needed to equip ourselves to handle life’s chaos. The Holy Spirit is a helper to us –bringing out the best in our lives. In the highlights of our lives, that is when God is glorified. THAT is when people will step back in awe and in praise!

In all things, God shall be praised for HE TRULY is every part of who we are and who we will be.

To God be ALL the glory!


Galatians 5:1 (ESV) reads;

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

Lord,

"I was nothing and you built me up. I was everything in the world and you broke me down.I admitted that I was nothing without you, And you came and filled me."

Help me to believe and accept your grace upon my life, given through your Son, like a child. Let me never again submit to a yoke of slavery. Reaffirm in me daily the power that you have given me over the spirit of the world. I HAVE BEEN SET FREE AND U HAVE ALREADY WON MY HEART! Continue to win my heart each day that I live and bring me closer to yours Abba father.

Empty me. Break me. Mold me. Fill me. Use me for the glory of your kingdom!

In your service,
Natalie M. Steele

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“Emerald in the Rough”

Most recently, God has given me a new understanding about suffering and intimate His role in our lives. Even as I write and read my own words, He brings revelations upon my heart. His love and grace speaks of the intimate connection that He has overwhelmingly invested in each of us. No other 2nd, 3rd, 4th or millionth chance could be given by any one else BUT God, because every bit of us is part of His carefully planned purpose. While reading 1 Corinthians 12:12 the other day, the weight of this hit me.

“For just as the body is ONE and has many members of the body, through many, are ONE body, so it is with Christ.”

I have read this verse many times in my life and looked no deeper than the word. Where does intimacy come into play you ask? The key parts of this verse are those referring to being ONE with the body of Christ (both in a church community but also, on an individual level). If thought about, being “ONE” with the body of Christ is quite personal and intimate. When we become born again, we become one with God in a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual way. Just like in the act of sex, all of Christ and ourselves is connected on an exclusively coupled intimacy that no other could understand or have; much of why sex between a married couple is so sacred. In our single lives and into our marriage God is our spouse, our intimate with whom we share a level of closeness like none other.

Now, you can see why, in such an intense level of intimacy, God understands EVERYTHING in our lives. Christ is literally a part of us. He feels when are sad, in pain, sorrow, when we praise Him and experience joy, 3 fold. Imagine how unimaginable and unbearable all of those things would feel to us if we took His place. Our senses would drive us to a total breakdown. Moreover, Christ gave up His crown to become human and because His experience as a human, it adds weight to the intimacy with us. TRUST ME when I say that Christ UNDERSTANDS. Everything that we feel, He feels. Everything that happens to us, happens to Him. This is why our suffering is so close to His heart.

My newfound understanding of Christ’s oneness with me, given me more reason to treat my body honourably and respect Him in that. It is my prayer that He will reveal the sacred nature of oneness with Him to you, therefore bringing you to a new perspective in your relationship with Him.

Please, If anyone has anything to add to this post, DO! I would love to hear what God has revealed in your heart about this subject. E-mail me and I will edit my post to include your comments.

Note: All published blogs by Natalie M. Steele are protected

"The Riot"

Courtship vs. Dating

After going through the principles in Chapter 5, More Than Friends, Less Than Lovers (Harris, boymeetsgirl, 2000), I realized that I should have defined the difference between dating and courtship for those that are confused. So, without applying too much legality, I'm going to attempt to portray the "personalities" of each avenue.

Courtship says goodbye to unguided and directionless relationships that serve the purpose of self, short-term gratification and pushing the boundaries of purity. This unfortunately, often characterizes dating. Christians alike, dating has frequently neglected the educated and prepared decision to enter the relationship. Many dating relationships have been based on the "if it feels good, do it" philosophy. No amount of biblical rules could prevent this relationship from infringing upon un-Godly ground. When a relationship trusts in the false security of humanly-hopeful rules and not in God, it is already in grave jeopardy.

Courtship is carefully plotted by God and attentively applied by the individuals involved. It is a romantic relationship full of purpose and fully developed in marriage. Courtship employs unselfishness, wisdom, patient intimacy and lead by God and integrity. It is an intense and unique experience between two faithful individuals. This is a relationship that invites the whole community to act as support to encourage the best qualities in courtship. Therefore, making it a character building experience. 1 Corinthians 13 could be called the spoken example of what a relationship, like courtship, should accomplish; selfless love in all areas.

One could say that dating implies posession of one another and courtship implies God's posession of us in the relationship.

It is always beneficial to refine our thinking with issues such as this. But, we must be careful not to get caught up in the logistics. No matter what we call our commited relationships, the way we conduct ourselves in them is what counts. We must not allow terms to define our living, but instead to let our living define terms.

Here are some questions to keep in mind while searching for God's purpose for you in courtship (Harris, pg.32):

1) What's my motive for being in a relationship?

2) How can I live for God as I pursue marriage?

3) How can I stop living selfishly?

4) How can I serve others?

5) What am I living for and how am I living?

Note: All published blogs by Natalie M. Steele are protected