On December 9th, I celebrated my 21st birthday with friends and family. Some say that their 20th year doesn’t make a difference, and their 21st still doesn’t make you feel any different, just older. I myself would have to disagree. Looking back upon my years since I was 19, I have totally turned around from the person I once knew. Even in the past weekend I learned a new perspective about myself that I was blown away by. In my 20th year, something undescribable happened within me. It was like God just went and put a higher watt bulb in the socket and turned on a huge light switch. I have always been smart, it’s more that I realized I had started to become an adult. Responsibility was mine, and it was up to me to begin to revolutionize the way I acted, spoke, and sung on my own stage. No longer did I have a total covering of my family. Even though my family is around, I have had to look deep into the well of who I am apart from them.And so, the journey began, with the carpet being ripped from underneath my feet and the nastiest sores being exposed. THANK GOD! Satan’s lies and excuses of low self-value, people pleasing, trying on all the masks of SpiRITUALISM, burying myself in pity, anger, depression, self-defeat, the need to prove my worth…GONE! The hardest part of facing the tough stuff is losing pride to then be vulnerable. I had to start from somewhere, and THAT was definitely humbling. I have never been a horrible person, but when all the masks were torn off of me, I had to face head on what, who I really was, and MOST of all, begin to see the truth in God’s image of me. After that, I had to take a stand for myself and take a hard look at the bad apples in my life whether it was people, things, behaviours, etc. The tedious part was sticking to the guidelines I had set out for myself. Those were the foundational steps to the walk I lead today.
Recently, I was involved in a seminar that talked about The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (often used in pre-marital counselling). There, I discovered something huge about myself. A year ago, if you would’ve told me that I was a good person, I would’ve hmmmed and hawed, made excuses, etc. Now, I totally don’t need someone to tell me that I’m a good person because I would automatically respond, “DARN RIGHT I AM!” My love languages have totally switched up. Once where my need for words of affirmation was top priority, sits my need for quality time. Words of affirmation is at the BOTTOM of the list. I credit this not to myself, but to God and his surgery. He worked through my vulnerability to seek after His image for me. I now know that I have a solid foundation in His purposes, His promises, and His image for me in me. That will never change. I may have doubt in the surroundings I live in but I have NO wavering doubt on the rock on which I stand. As long as I keep humble, he will be able to mould me into a Mighty Woman of God. I no longer need to look to other people to validate who I am because I have learned to soothe myself through God’s truth for me. I have never felt so happy in my own skin as I do now. God is working on me daily, and I look forward to every day so that he, the wick in my center, can burn away me. Pride is only a superficial thing to loose and a small sacrifice, compared to the reward of the REALity of yourself that will be revealed through loving actions.
My advice to all the gals out there, young and old, single or attached. Invest the time to find out who you are apart from everyone else or your significant other. In your most intimate moments with yourself and God you will begin to peel back the mystery of His promises for you. This investment will be the MOST rewarding thing that you can do for yourself. If all else is gone, if every one you know and love leaves you in the dust, the one thing that you will be able to count on is the image in which you are beheld in God’s eye. Don’t ever depend on others to validate/value who you are, because in the end, only God will be left and only HE can be the un-shifting rock.
And so, I move on from here, blessed with another year of promises great and small. Another year of learning patience and faith, turning curses into gifts, and helping others do the same. Come, I encourage you all to follow so that the world can watch us be the ammunition for the future.
God Bless
Note: All blogs written by Natalie M. Steele are protected.
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